When you deny yourself your practice, in whatever form it takes for you, then you deny yourself a connection to your source, or in other words your soul or spirit. You know the place that feels like home when you allow yourself to reside in its form.
So what do I mean by practice? Well the obvious one in the context of my writing is yoga and meditation. But I get it, not everyone is yoga obsessed, nor do they have to be (but take it from me, it's a winner). Everyone's yoga is different, you may like to paint, write, run, hike, make furniture, play music... the list goes on. A conscious practice taps you into an energetic connection to your inner world, connects you to the your intuitive knowing self.
When we connect with the practice that sparks, ignites, challenges and awakens our inner self we connect with messages from its wisdom and knowing. We bring that wisdom into the way we live our lives, we create space to reflect, to be in the flow, to lose all sense of time, to be one with yourself. It shows us the edges of ourselves that need smoothing, the darkness that needs light. You may not always find yourself in a blissful state (especially in the case of yoga) but you may find that it leads the way to a more "enlightened" experience of yourself, your life, and your place in the world.
So what happens when you find yourself so removed from your practice that it's become a lurking shadow. You know it's there, but you've become too afraid to look at it. The paintbrushes end up shoved in the cupboard, the guitar gathering dust, the toolshed a museum. Why do we turn our back on pursuits that have the potential for such joy? Perhaps life just gets a bit too heavy. Our obligations, our pursuits, the endless acquisition of things rather than experiences takes over. Or worse, our ego tells us there is no point to our practice, especially if it's not generating us any money, in what is so often our already crammed-full lives.
Or maybe the ego comes into play when we have an inner desire to do this pursuit professionally, but you never quite got there with it. When we turn our back on our practice we turn our back on our source, and we stay bound in the limiting patterns that hold us back from growth, light, love and joy.
If that's what we trade off when we turn our back on our practice, it's worth staying connected to your practice, wouldn't you say?
So if you have strayed from your practice in what ever form it takes, perhaps making a choice to bring a gentle reconnection could invite it back into your life, and bring with it the gifts it holds.